just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
