How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
