i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
