and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
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college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.