first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running