Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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