How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
