I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
