Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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