Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
