he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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