the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you would pick up someone in the library
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
