I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
