Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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