There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize