I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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