You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He? As in you personified your dick?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
