White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my being single is dangerous.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
