we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
