I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Drunk is not a location!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize