I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
