I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
