Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
