I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
