There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
