You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize