His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
