It's Friday. Sex?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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