Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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