Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So many bounce houses so little time
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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