i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
