Are we in a gay sports bar?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
