i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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