Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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