I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
