either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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