ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
