Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
