I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize