its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
