I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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