You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
then he tried to convert me to islam
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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