So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
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Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
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He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize