Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
