I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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