It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
