I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
