There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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