What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
