this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.