My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.