Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
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He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.