I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
