Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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