I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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