I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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