He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
