Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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