So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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