I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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