dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
