Your face is a jimmy john
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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