Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
