Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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