Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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