Nicole vs. Life
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
