how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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