I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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